This has been a good week with OKCupid, which is an unexpected surprise. It has been good because I came across some great profiles that were great to read, and because my interactions with fellow OKCupiders ended up picking my brains in unexpected ways. Several different interactions meshed quite nicely in my head; I am going to try to explain them all as one. The sequence described here isn’t necessarily the sequence of events that took place in real life. This is more a summary of how different interactions came to be together in my head, and interesting points I learned from them about myself.
Ok so here it goes….
A pretty interesting Jewish guy asks me several questions about myself. I reply, go back to my reply next day, and have this “WTF” private reaction. As I re-read my own reply the next day, I wanted to cry because it bore me to tears. It was a blandly banal reply, and I was having hard time relating to the writer (that would be me). So I was trying to understand why while my reply was honest, it was very boring to read. I mean, I am a pretty good writer, and I have managed to bring forth my spunky, at times mischievous, and pretty amazing personality in my writings. What’s up with this a flop when I actually want a person to like me?
And apparently me wanting a person (a particular OKCupid user) to like me is a problem. What I really wanted to communicate was “Дядя, а ваш профиль мне очень даже понравился. So in turn, I want you to like my answers, and like me for an amazing and awesome person that I am. Simply put, choose me to pay attention to.”
What stops me from communicating that are the QUESTION and A QUESTION. THE QUESTION: “If you are so amazing and awesome, how come you are still single at the age of 34?” A QUESTION: “How do I communicate my awesomeness without coming across as boastful?”
Ok, now enters a second OKCupider comes into this post. He actually asked me THE QUESTION! I had no problems answering at all. In my 20th I was horribly overweight, emotionally and financially unstable, confused kid who was neither disciplined nor firmly grounded in a healthy routine. Had some great experiences and some “Oh, man, I really shouldn’t have done that” experiences, without really learning from them. Simply put, I wasn’t having the best relationship with myself at the time, let alone attempt to have an intimate relationship with another person. In my 30th I finally saw the light, actually at times it was major fireworks even; and have been able to transform myself into becoming a pretty awesome woman I knew I could be. And so now I am 34 and amazing. I can bitch, and moan, and complain that my growth took so long to mature and actualize my potential, but what good will that do? It is what it is.
A QUESTION is all on me. I have to figure out how to balance communicating to another person that I think I am pretty amazing, and I would like him to pay attention to me because I am amazing. Ok, seriously, doesn’t this sound a bit selfish?
Back to the pretty interesting Jewish guy. He wanted to know what I am passionate about. I wrote what I wrote, but than decided to ask my close friend what she thinks I am passionate about. Her answer put a smile on my face: “you are passionate about Jewish-ness, cooking and relationships (of many varieties). Jewish-ness is important part of you, and that is how you relate to the world, and because its how you best relate to the world, you want to keep that part of you honed and well taken care of.”
And that is where the clarity of my thoughts is no more! And that is OK because to quote Bryn Christopher:
But I know I’ll be alright
It’s coming stronger to me
And I know someone is out there
Lead the way
Lead the way
Show me the answers I need to know
Recent Comments